Education
For the Longest Time
09/12/07 10:58
I have not posted in a long time. The main reason is working at Maranatha is taking a huge toll on me. It is really hard. I feel discouraged most of the time because my students don’t seem to understand what I am trying to teach them. But the really hard thing has been my faith. I feel like I have lost it. I’m not exactly sure what I mean by that, but I know that I am going through some pretty significant stages of doubt.
I wonder if this isn’t part of death that we all experience. We have to die, both physically, but in many other ways. Jesus tells us to die daily. Is part of that death include how I view the world, the death of my epistemology, my certainty. If so, I hope beyond hope for resurrection. That is the promise right? That we will be resurrected.
I was reminded in conversation last night of Colin Brown’s writing. He points out that we treat miracles like they are the answer to our hurt. We expect God to heal us miraculously so that we are whole. His point is that we are not going to be whole in this life. That is not part of the promise from God. The promise is that we will be whole in the next life, whatever that looks like. So, although I don’t feel like I can say that I have faith right now, I do have hope. I hope that those things in which I have had faith in are true and willl come to pass.
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New Beginnings
08/24/07 15:26
So, I haven’t been posting lately for a couple reasons - first of all I am done at Fuller. So sad. I am really goiing to miss it. I had such an amazing time there, that it is really going to be hard to transition out of it. Moreover, I have started teaching. Yesterday, actually. It has been good thus far. The students seem excited to learn, and what more can I ask? It just seems that the ball is in my court. If I provide, if I give them the chance to learn, to engage, they will jump at it. So, I have to make the transition from the studious one to the cheerleader, the one who engages. It has been particularly hard to teach at a Christian School, though I haven’t even started in earnest for a few reasons. First of all, I have a sneaking suspicion that if there were no private schools, our public schools would be better off. The more wealthy students and their family are taking their resources out of the schools, instead of jumping in and helping better those around them. Second, I’m not even sure how my faith gels with ‘orthodox’ Christian beliefs, but I’ll write more about that when I have synthesized it better. Last of all, I’m not even sure it is good for the kids to be in this subculture: it is part of the idea that the world can ‘infect’ Christians, or something like that. I thought that Christians were supposed to infect the world and not just hide in their little communities. Anyways, just a few thoughts. More later.
Oh, and what on earth am I supposed to do about lesson plans? How do I even write one?